PMS-ING

i tink its horrible wen a gal is having her ***!!! it reli sux 4 me though. moe sux wen i gt no1 2 turn 2.i'm reli sori 2 those who i disturb n tried 2 gt ur attention. i jus wana kill my boredom. i reli dono wat 2 do wen tis period of time cum. i wil try 2 b alone bt de moe time i spend lonely, de moe bored i wil feel. de moe irritated i can b. m i being abnormal?? i jus hate myself 4 not able 2 control myself wen i had tis ting coming. i hate it wen i had 2 attract ani1 attention jus 4 my boredness. luckily de unxpected tings did not hapen. i nearly do tings wich i'm not supoz 2 do. sumtimes i feel tat those around me, they feel uneasy wif me. ya, mayb bcoz i crap alot. i jus hope 2 remain silence bt i jus wana let evryting out of me bt i doubt ani1 2 hear. i wish 2 not 2 trouble othas coz i noe they will feel disgusted n 'menyampah'!! i wish i cus jus say it out loud n mek tings simple. i gues tis is wat hapen wen i'm out of job. last time wen i was werking, i dub even hav time 4 myself bt now, slacking is my daily job. like wat nis say, its been long tat i nvr go out n c de surroundings. i duno wats happening 2 me. i do hate myself. i feel like swallowing a full bottle of pills n slp 4eva. my mind is in a twirl. non-stop twirl. i feel so lonely. i feel so useless. i feel so shitty. is tis wat my life supos 2 b?? haix...

2 all my frens, i'm truly sori if i had been such a bother 2 u all. i wish i cud b myself. if in anyway tat i hurt ur feelings, u hate abt me or aniting, pls pls pls i beg all of u, pls tel me truthfully b it good or bad. i'm much moe hapi if u do so, coz at least i feel tat i exist.

tats all i gota say..i'm trying 2 slp bt my eyes r wide open.haix....