RECONCILATION

1st Dec marks de day of us reconciling n gt bek 2ghtr n try 2 gt tings werk out agn...
i noe its my bad of saying i don wan him as he is not my type or wateva shit bt in de end i stil gt bek 2 him..in fact, i jus dono wat i wan so i jus giv tis a last try n if we stil cant gt along, i rather b alone til i reli find one tat reli suits...who noe he wil find a new one wen start werk...gd news he's starting werk soon n gladly he start immediately aftr ord...gd 4 him..wish him all de best...




back 2 square one

aftr watsoeva had hapen, its so awkward feeling w/o a bf AGN...haha...
life so contradicting..speechless!! dumbness!!
haiz...wat am i feeling...heart stil thumping...so de curious of wats gona hapen next...

oh well!!! wana wish a HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY 2 BABE NIS..
c u soon 2 clbrte ur bdae kz coz babe pen is having exams n nd 2 study while u r bz werking n end nite...we'll find a time 2 b wif u kz...sori if we clbrte quite late...
bt i supoz u had sum speciality surprises on ur bdae rite...hope u njoy ur bdae n surprises...
:)

*wicked0utz*




THE END

6 Nov 2007 marks de end of journey wif my beloved boyfren..
may he be blessed wif gd future, gd job n stay close wif his fmly no mater wat hapen...
i'll always pray 4 ur hapines n ur safety n ur success..
had gd experience life wif u..tanx 4 spending ur time wif me 4 de past 2yrs+...
wish u all de best...tekcare always...

so now, i wil feel moe empty n lonely now as no1 wil b my listener..cant xprez my feelings 2 ani1 else..how i wish..haix...now i feel so empty n light on my finger without my ring..n can stil c de mark of de ring..tings wil nvr turn bek as b4..noting gona change his mind n heart aftr made his decision..i respect ur decision n i wil not disturb u animoe..tats all i gota say...now gota rez myself..jus 2 mek myself feel beta aftr all tis...

*wicked0utz*




update! update! update!



damn! its been so long tat i update abt myself..haha...bz la lately...oh well, i oready found someting 2 mek me feel occupied..hehe...ok i post each story k..



1: werk at CPF board
credits to Nisa who help me 2 lookout 4 job n found me a job..thanx babe...muackz!!!
ok 1st day went 4 training which i dun c any training..wat we do is jus flipping paper n most of us r gals wer jus flipping our hair coz we din concentrate at all..haha..most importantly is all of us r jus so concern abt de aircon coz all freezing 2 death n asking permission 4 toilet breaks..end of training n i was posted 2 a nearer branch as a frontline customer service asst..

2nd day report 2 werk wif my new colleague, a Chinese guy..we wer so early tat we hav 2 wait abt 1hr 2 mit de in-charge..oni at 9plus, we wer brought in 2 b interviewed n 'site-seeing' ard de place..gt 2 noe a new fren, mly gal n we went 4 lunch 2ghtr, eat nasi ayam aje...den gt bek 2 werk n learn as much as i can..end of de day was stil fine...hav 2 report werk at 8am instead 830am..early..!!!

3rd day go out wif sis early morng 2 catch de perfect time train..haha..luckily not late..days went by..seen lots of ppl reaction n attitude..so irritating...now i'm posted at reception in charge of issuing singpass n queue numbers wif tis kind mly lady who eventually stayed near my area..

4th day DOOM DAY!!! half day does not seem 2 b like one..it turn out moe like a full day..i was so shocked, heart thumping every second as i was approached by many ppl...arggh!! i wana faint...luckily was helped by anotha kind staff...thank god!!

days go by n now its my second wk...was doing evryting well bt now i'm doing alone at reception as de lady has oready quit as she found a new 5-day job..lucky she...i was so dumb tat i dono wat 2 do early morn..jus gt my id n i can log in wothout waiting 4 othas bt stil was so dumb in cmptr stuff..haiz...days passed n down on fri nite, started my period...i was xpecting 4 heavy 'downpour' de nxt day n sumoe its on sat, de DOOM DAY!!! argh!!! i shd jus declare tat Sat a BLOODY SATURDAY'...it 'flooded' n was not aware..ask bro pick me up 2 avoid any embarrassment...tanx bro!!!
it seem tat i hav 2 try 2 b independant now...insyaALLAH i wil pick tings up fast...
tats all 4 abt my werking life...wil update if i hav new story...lazy 2 type actuali..



2:Raye outing
tis yr i apologise 2 alot of ppl as i cant mek it 4 de outing...i feel so guilty...was so supos 2 go out wif sec sch ppl bt i had heavy menses tat meks me real weak..i din even gt 2 go 2 Hudaa open hse de nxt day..i was real damn tired..i'm sori gals as we nvr go out raye agn tis yr...my 1000 apologies...:(



3:Dream Guys
lately jus gt dreams of non-local guys..whakaka...dono y...mayb cant find any local guys tat r stable..hheehee...i was jus 'fantasizing' oni, not 4 real...i can go crazy tinking abt them..even my sis say i sewel..haha...bt i'll stil luk 4 local guys..hehe..saw few non-local guys, cute, older...who noes their pocket much moe thicker den local guys pocket...haha...bt sum mite luk married...whakaka,...aiya...jus 'site-seeing'..stil waiting 4 my Mr Right 2 appear n ask 4 my hand...chey!! like real...haha....



4:Confuse Relationship
thers noting 2 say abt my relationship now coz we r going our own way n not getting any help...i dun like his ways handling stuff n he doesnt like my nagging n attitude..so in short, we dun go in a way now 2ghtr..bt i'm not sure if its de end or jus a test..so i'm stil waiting 4 confirmation..in future, no1 wil listen 2 me toking abt relationship..i feel 4 now if he reli confirm of separating, i wil not hav bf until i'm reli ready 2 hav one..no 'give it a try' attitude..wan realtionship, den lets gt real!!! i'm tired of being hurt n hurting othas..so its ok rite if i fling den..haha...so gals, u wun hav 2 hear me bullshitting abt my relationship agn...!!! :)

oh well tats all 2 update..u gals noe tat my entry wil alwas b boring so pardon me if u waste time 2 read tis so not happening entry...update soon..till den, chalo...!!!

*wicked0utz*

SHOCKED!!!

Monday
gota wake up at 10am ystrdy morng coz my dad's fren cum 4 raye...i was hepily dreaming bt was awake shockingly...omg!! y do ppl cum early in de morng 2 visit othas...at least they shd cum at 11am onwads...my bro sugest 2 put a sign indicating de operating hrs n its shd b frm 1pm till 10pm..haha...how cruel can he b...den late at nite, anotha visitor came n they arrive ard 10pm n they leave at 1115pm..den my bro sound me agn, 'eh i tot u put de sign oready, y they stil here??'...wat do u xpect bro..tkkan nk halau dorg kan....hmph!!!

Tuesday
2dae go tuition as usual...wil b de last day of tutoring...bot chocs 4 de fmly as a sign of appreciation...soon as tuition end, tot cud gt my pay...OMG!!! i was laughing my way hm...actualli it was not de last bt wil b continuing til she don wan me 2 teach..de mother wans me 2 tutor her daughter til nxt yr..she dun mind me teaching at nite oso 4 nxt yr, even aftr i had found a job..damn!!! dumb me, i gav her de chocs 2 her den...wat 2 do..tkkan nk masuk dlm beg alik kan...my bro was saying, 'u shd bring de chocs bek n let me eat!!' hah!!! went lot1 wif fmly 4 breakfast at yakun toast...paid 4bux 4 de kaya toast wif de egg tingy..gulp! gulp! gulp!
mom was saying ok lets go walk2 n den we eat agn ltr...den i say, y mus walk2?? she say, 'let de food go down 1st n den we eat agn la..'
i reply sarcastically, 'wats der 2 let down de food wen i nvr eat aniting?? jus now de yakun toast doesnt even fill up my stomach..'
haix...i fil so much hungry eventhough aftr eating...stomach bloat bloat bloat...argh!!! how 2 slim wen kip eating like pig!!!
den went 2 walk2 at tis fashion...was passing by 7-11 wen i spotted tis guy wich has a mat look like bt de cool type n he pierce his ears..he luk so cool n so smart not de typical matrep...i was staring at him...tot he dint notice bt actuali he was luking at me 2...ouch!!! i fil a pinch on my cheek!!! walk2 in frnt of him n wen quite far, i turned...haha...i was shocked he was luking my way n smiling bt i dint noe lah if he is luking at me n smiling at me...i nvr giv any response la of coz, skali paisey how...hehe....nowadays jus gt fetish 4 pierced ears guys bt not calang2 org ok...it fit rite if de guy is hot n cool...
haiz....wher can i find such guy....:)
i hope 2mrw i wil not create any scene coz i'm eager 2 start my new job 2mrw!!! xcited!!!
babes, wish de best eh...tanx so much....muackz....:) :)




1ST OUTING

was supoz 2 go out at 10am....well, de whole hse wake up at 10am n in de end, go out at 2pm...how fickle my fmly can b..so 2dae mark de day we go out as fmly not wearing de same outfit...haix...no smangat seh...!!! :(
i went wif bro, tek his bike coz he dono de way...dah kene singsing kain...aduh!!! malu!!!
gt 2 de 1st hse, my elder aunt hse...all self-service coz they old oready so we jus do ourself..de kids went out!! hate them 4 leaving de elder at hm alone!!! haix..as we wanted 2 leave de hse, gt relative bside my uncle cum..OMG!!! i was so cair can, coz de guy luk so cute...2 my surprise, they r indon fmly...he is so damn fucking gorgeous tat i can drop dead in frnt of him...i served them drinks ok....i was smiling frm ear 2 ear...ahhhh....so hot!!!
wen we left de hse, i was smiling all de way n my sis say i crazy...all de way 2 de 2nd hse, i was telng my sis if she like 2 hav an Indon bro-in-law...she's like 'jgn prasan lah...!!!"
ouch!!! how hurt i can b....:( bt i was jus as hepi as i gt 2 c him eye 2 eye...heehee..
ok enuf of my 'dream guy'...went clementi aunt hse, gt eat2...she cook tulang...yummy!!! den we all play 'carrom'...sumpah aku tk reti nk main...i jus shoot anihow..haha...
nxt hse is nearby....noting much...den off 2 holland hse wif parents oni...noting much bt jus watch tv til i fall aslp...gt hm at 1030pm...
damn tired coz my shoe sux!!! stupid paku!!! argh!!! so not de raye lor..boring...BUT at least hepi 2 c 'eye candy' eventhough its oni 4 a few minute...haha..
tats de lame story of ur fren here...til she bullshit agn though...:P
*wicked0utz*




SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

well well well....sori 4 not updating....was bz wif homey stuff n packed wif emergencies here n ther...noting much though...it turns tat tis yr Raye celebration is not as merry as i tot...de mood was not ther n its still not ther...
b4 raye, was supoz 2 spring clean hse n cook 4 Raye bt was shocked by a call by my Thai aunt tat mu uncle was sick n was rushed 2 hospital immdtly..my sis n bro went 1st as they need 2 settle de admission..me n mum wer halfway cooking n we stop halfway n rushed ther 2...fortunately my uncle is ok, its a stomach ulcer n he was admitted..gt hm n wanted 2 do werk bt gt nice2 show so gota delay n delay til 4am...woke up at 6am, helped mum prepare de dishes..damn!! i was closing my eyes wen i was doing de werk..haiz...my head was spinning...
had breakfast n quickly clean up hse agn b4 guests come...my 1st guest came in de afternoon n tat was my bro-in-law sis fmly...tat was stil ok..at nite, one big lorry came(bside my dad)...rushed out wif bro buy ice...my last guest of de 1st day was Maisara fmly...haha...she was so cute n damn naughty til her sarong koyak...hehe...go 2 bed at 12pm...
was awaken by a phonecall at 5am...it turn out my relative who came wif de big lorry earlier has passed away due to heart attack...i pity him as he is stil young at the age of mid 40s n had 8kids, eldest of my age n de youngest of 2yrs...i'm so shocked tat i cant slp til 7am...was supoz 2 go melawat bt overslpt til 12pm...my parents wer oready ther...woke up n gt ready 2 go wif bro...luckily was not late..i gota c de late 4 de last time, i cried...:( lots of tings in my mind..haix......followed 2 de cemetery n saw how they bury de dead..i was so terrified if i'm down ther...head was spinning n wana rush hm bt bro insist on going 'jln raye'..aiyoh!! jln raye aftr cuming bek frm melawat...?? sewel kape...i don wana go bt he insists...go oni la, jus 2 eat..so went oni 2 aunt hse at clmnt...den go 2 hsptl 2 visit uncle...gt hm at 730pm n shower all...eat panadol, wanted 2 rez...RING!!! damn!! was abt 2 close de door wen my relative wana cum...ok, gt ready n act normal like not sick like tat..haiz...they went hm at 10pm...quickly close 'shop'...i was damn tired n my head kip spinning...
de nxt day went 2 tnjg pagar 2 mit de agency 2 tek my werk time sheet n i was damn gong 2 go ther..i was oready at tis plc wher i cant c de name of de building n i m luking 4 international plaza..i kol de agency n ask 4 direction..2 my dumbness, i was actuali at de plc oready!!! how 'clever' can i b...met de agent n took de sheet n tot of going hm..sad, gota go hospital...ok den...
aftr went ther, went 2 lot1 2 buy ofis wear clothes at tis fashion..got 2 shirts oready 4 50bux...stupidly de nxt shop sell de ofis wear clothes..argh!!! i was so damn dumb tat i cant even tink straight...my head was spinning...gt hm eat panadol agn....hopefuli i'll b well by 2mrw..so xcited 2 werk 2mrw...
woke up at 4am n shiver like hell...my body was damn hot!!! my mum ask me go doc, i say i cant coz 1st day werk...ok de, gt ready 4 werk...i was like over de moon, on cloud 9 or wateva u kol it wen u r sick mood...my eyes wer open bt my mind was slping...so damn tired tat i cant tink properly...at last i went doc instead of going werk...how useless i m...gt 2days mc...gt hm n rez...my siblings wer shocked 2 c me n they laughed at me n start 2 blablabla....
haix....i reli sux...i was reli down tis few days...lots of tings run in my mind...i dono wat else 2 say la...i'm totalu dumb n useless n gong!!! argh!!!!